Every April I go back to 1978, specifically the 17th, when my brother-in-law, Danny carried me into the Marin General Hospital Emergency Room.
I was unconscious and then taken to the ICU. I didn’t regain consciousness until two days later when I heard my doctors' voice. He held my hand while telling me I had esophageal varices and that I should tell my daughter, Erin. She was 10 at the time and heard from the doctor that I did not have long to live. We cried together and prayed. I made a deal with Jesus right then. I told him that if He let me live I would never pick up another drink.
When my sister picked me up from the hospital she took me to our favorite bar. The bartender asked what I wanted to drink, I told him a Tab. He took off his apron and ran to the store for my Tab. (Thank you very much!)
I have never had another drink, but have often reflected on different experiences. One of the most most unusual was a knock at the door of the small cottage I was renting with my daughter. I opened the door to Janice Joplin, my friend. We got roaring drunk. God love my beautiful Erin whom I completely failed as a mother. God blessed me and allowed me to make-up for ten years of neglect.
I am so grateful for God's help in staying sober all these many years, it will be 50 next year. I was blessed that nothing long lasting happened to me other than esophageal varices. I bounced back more quickly than the doctors could have hoped for.
I have always hesitated to tell my story as I didn't use AA or any other organization available to people with addiction problems, I developed a stronger relationship with the Lord who has been with me all these years.
I did move out of Marin to Ohio to attend Miami University. I took up heavy exercise. My daughter still lives in Ohio.
I am keeping busy and feel very fortunate to stay sober.
****I so appreciate the strength of the words that Aileen shares with everyone. But I can't let in end here. She and I have been very close friends for 33 years. She was a patient, turned close friend, kick boxing buddy, and a mentor for me about kindness and love. I will also share that when I had breast cancer, her job required her to find 3 women to do a commercial in New York. I got the assignment. The only reason I mention this is that she was probably still struggling at that time and became very outwardly focused. She helped me so much! I was struggling a bit, of course, and she helped lift me to a place of peacefulness. She continues to help dogs find a home, shares her wisdoms with new people, and is also a great mom. I truly learned what love was watching her with her daughter, her granddaughter and now great grandchildren.
I truly do not know why she had to go through that challenge in her life, but she definitely changed her beautiful life and developed a soul that few can match.
I am truly blessed to have watched her recovery and also call her my friend.