17Jul

When is the last time you have truly had your heart broken?

I have recently had the honor of walking alongside 4 different people who have had their hearts broken.  There were multiple presentations of the "broken heart", but nevertheless, they felt broken.  Broken as people?

Not sure what to think of themselves any longer, questioning their judgement, choices, surroundings, etc.

You are truly broken when you question everything about ones' self.

How does a circumstance destroy your very core?  How does something have that much power over you?

The only times I have ever felt a broken heart were when my son was 14 and gravely ill for over a year.  My heart felt broken, but sad broken.  The other two times were when my parents died.  My heart felt broken, but I wasn't.  

I guess what I am wondering is if anything should have that much power over you.  The type of pain that cripples you?

What is your own foundation?  Can you survive this pain and if you get to a very dark spot, do you reach out to the people that you can trust, who love you, or care about you a lot.

What is your strength?  Are you afraid that it is too much trouble to reach out?  Are you afraid people won't care?  Do you have a religious affiliation so you can lean toward your faith?  Are you able to trust that those people will be there for you?

It is important as we all know suicide rates are sky high and not that you are contemplating suicide, but people can get very dark.

So I challenge you to build up your circle of true friends.  My father always told me if you have 2-3 true friends in your lifetime, you are blessed.  Is it easy, no, it takes time and effort and  reciprocity, but it is worth it.  Nurture them the way you want to be nurtured.  Not just casually, but the kind of nurturing that says I truly know who you are and I love you for it.

On this journey, life will become richer and you will develop deep bonds so that if you have that dark moment, you can call upon them and vice-a-versa.

It is worth the time!




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28Apr

We are all at the age where we are bound to have experienced health problems or worse with someone we love, a friend or family.

How do you get through it as gracefully as possible and still allow your emotions to come forward in a natural response?

You listen, is my best advice.

So many times I have tried to just fix it. It is what I have done as a practitioner most of my life.  I fix things.  

But I know there are things I can't fix, nor can you.  If you just listen without planning what you want to say next to help soothe their hearts, and just listen, you will be more of service than if you plan all your responses.  I also believe there will be a better dynamic between the two of you as he/she will feel heard, which is the most important goal.  

Your heart may be sad, of course, but they are the one suffering so let them be with you in that moment and know that you are really listening. Then, if you need someone to share your grief from that news, hopefully there will be a friend waiting for you that knows the art of listening.



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18Aug

As a citizen of this world, older, and more seasoned, I stop to reflect on my surroundings more now as I have more time. I am constantly amazed at the lengths people go to hurt one another. Some of it is accidental but a great deal of it is purposeful, premeditated. In pondering, as I frequently do, I wonder why. Why do we hurt people that we say we love, or even the people that we don't know and hurt with callous disregard? What do we gain in doing this? Is there an adrenaline high from the discomfort/pain one inflicts on others. I am going through a few situations with two separate beautiful women who have been deeply wounded by another' actions In both cases, the relationships started with loving intent but quickly evolved to disdain and near hate. When could an intervention have occurred to avoid the trauma? Why does it go from loving to such pain? I am not a psychologist or sociologist, but I have dealt with patients the last 40 plus years on a fairly intimate level. In most situations there was not enough screening time, meaning spending enough time to really get to know that person. Also, there were signals that were ignored as they wanted to believe that it would get better over time. As women, or people, we just can't let our guards down anymore. That doesn't mean that you can't fall in love, etc. That is one of the most beautiful experiences in life that should never be missed. BUT, go slow, read the signals and if your gut, your second brain tells you to listen to it, do that. Our soul speaks to us through both of our brains and then our heart. Follow the first two first, then allow your heart to enjoy whatever happens next. Blessings to you and your heart.

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